lost!!!
Saturday, April 11, 2009 / 12:34 AM
i'm lost in the life i'm looking for.. many times, i hate the life i am having nw. *no one to b blame except my ownself*... life for me now is only revolving around my parent & own family.. Is that the life of a married woman? or is it I just failed in my life planning. have not meet up my own frens for the past dun noe hw many wks or mth. the onli person I met is STinky.. yes U.. honoured? hee.. i miss my gal frens. i miss the catching up times when we shared our sadness, happiness, anything under the sun to each other..
Every day after work, I am rushing home to do hsework or to go back mum's place..I getting to hate hsework.. I was NOT encourage to engage a part time maid for the reason cos i was thought to be copying frens who did that... But do u know hw tiring one can be to do hsework after working. I m like a 30 yr old in an 80 yr old body... I m tired out easily.. i feel giddy easily.. i m weak!!!
suddenly.. I feel the need of having some pillars for me to rely on.. I feel myself falling.. there are alot of resentment inside me.. Its hard to describe.. Its just in me.. So much anger, resentment & unhappiness... I hate the life I m having.. I hate what i m going thru....
On a different note, just to those who are concern on my new job.. I m enjoying myself on this new job.. maybe becos i'm still untrained.. the stress are not tat great.. I love to be with those children.. sth happy to share.. a gal drew me a bunny dog on thursday (9th april).. I shld be angry with her cos she is drawing when I'm conducting a lesson. But i'm really surprise for tat drawing.. thanks so much Ira.. That's the 1st drawing I've received. another happy thing to share.. On thursday, I told the class of mine that if they have problems for maths, can meet mi outside staff room, I will b ther to help them.. around 8 of them turn up.. 3 of the boys are unexpected. Their presence showed that they are willing to work hard & learn. I'm really happy to see that. =)
okay, an intro on what I've been talking on the above. I'm an untrained teacher in a primary school. I did not have a class of my own except for PE & Arts. For maths & english, I m doing parallel teaching meaning a teacher is in the class & i m kind of assisting them. But I had started to conduct lesson on my own with their presence. I failed so badly *i judge myself..* Maybe for the fact that there is an experience teacher in the class, I'll refrain mysef frm alot of things. I hope u al get wat i mean. On wed & thurs, the english teacher is absent so I took the class on my own. I was happy when i see the smile & laughter I brought to half of the class.. at least i noe i m not tat boring.. keke.. hopefully this job reali suit me.. I love children.. but loving & teaching is 2 different issue.. there are so much more for me to learn... Wish me the very best!!!
