Its lengthy post, but please take some time to read..
Tuesday, September 30, 2008 / 6:09 PM
I happen to come across this email sent to me 5 yrs back..yes..today marks exactly 5 yrs..haha..email was sent to me on 30th sept 03.. wat a coincident!!
I'm like garang gu ni huh? keeping old mails for so long.... well, i always love to read meaningful stuff.. some words & stuffs really reflect my life.. some teaches me how to be a better person, some console & give me the strength..some are constant reminder of things we've forgotten, things we taken for granted..etc... Whenever i am down, i love to dig out all those meaningful stuff to read.. i do feel better after reading.. happen to read back the article below & i seriously feel the truth-ness in what was written... please please.. everyone do spare 5 mins to read the article below. =)
The fundamentals of love
Think back to the day when you first laid eyes onher. You found yourself charmed by the way shetalks, the way she dresses herself to show off herbest features and the way she embraces life with herlaughter. It seemed as if a mysterious "chemistryeffect" has suddenly developed to draw you closer to her.
You two then began to meet regularly, and youdiscover more things that you admire about her. Herclever ideas, her healthy values and the way shestands up for you when others doubt you. You findyourself thinking of her not just as a normalfriend, but a very good friend. It is often duringthis period that a boy and a gal will start thinkingof bringing their friendship to another level. Afterall, the kind of wonderful experience you havebetween each other can only become even better if itdevelops into a romantic relationship. In otherwords, the feeling is really unique - no one elseseems able to replace her in your heart.
So both of you agree to go steady and work evenharder on the relationship. You "graduate" to becomea couple, and are the envy of the sea of singles.
When You Forget The FundamentalsHowever, at some point in your relationship, youforgot how it all began. You start to take yourpartner for granted. Why can't she laugh in a moreladylike manner? Why doesn't she dress herself moretrendily? Why must she assert her views and pointout your silly mistakes? Is she really the one for you?
To be fair to yourself and to her, take some time toreflect on your "love memory". The "love memory'contains all the reasons that you fell in love withher right from Day One. It contains rarely accessedsnippets of how your life has changed since meetingand loving her.
Pre-steady days, did you heap compliments on her forthe brave way she spoke her mind on bullies andsnobs? You probably did. Did you like her unusualfashion sense that makes her stand out from thecrowd? Right-o. So why are you criticising orfinding fault with her now that she is yourgirlfriend?
Because you have forgotten the fundamentals of love,like so many of us. You have forgotten the reasonsyou admired her during the friendship phase.Instead, once you went steady, you put your "lovememory" in cold storage. As her boyfriend, you takeup a new set of demands and expectations about her.These new ideas are not necessarily better; theycould put your relationship at risk.
The Secret Of Strong Relationships
A healthy relationship, like learning to walkproperly, follows a step-by-step development. Youcan't possibly become part of a couple if you aren'tfriends in the first place. Ok, I know some of usbreak the rule and plunge straight into whirlwindcourtship, but how many of those couples can go thedistance? Couplehood works well when there issomething you like about her (and vice versa), andI'm not referring to merely the physical aspects.
So whenever your relationship hits a rocky path,don't give up without checking on your "lovememory". Rediscover the reasons why you fell in lovewith her, and watch your relationship flourish witha newfound vigour.
~ JeNn cHan ~
~ Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them togo.. the challenge is not to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them ~
Have u all forgotten the main reason y u fall for ur partner in the 1st place? all the silly things he/she used to do that attracted he/she to u, does it makes u feel irritated now?for once, we do forgot y we fal for tat person in the 1st place, we started to pick on them for things that they fail our expectation. & quarrels occur...Its impt to think back "THE REASON" (LOVE MEMORY) despite the countless quarrel, countles picking.. at least at the end of the day, u know well in your heart, in ur mind, in ur soul he/she is the one u used to love, in the past, the present & the future...
When one forget THE REASON (LOVE MEMORY), things happen...we starts to realise the person does not fit in our expectation.. we leave that person for another person only waiting for histroy to repeat itself again..
so no matter what, always try to check back on your LOVE MEMORY.. if you realise u have grown up, expectation changes.. its time you know you should let go..............
No one ever say it is easy to maintain a r/s.. great efforts are needed..
Does seeing a smie on your love one makes u happy? if so, sacrificing urself, ur time, ur freedom.. do sth to make that person happy, issit it worthwhile?
