The uninteresting ..low self-esteem Me....
Thursday, July 3, 2008 / 4:40 PM
An indescribable stressful feeling creeps in.. i do not know why, I am neither busy nor stress at work today..but yet sitting at my desk, i just have this uneasy feeling..feeling of anxiety, fear, lost etc.. the list goes on..
The only reason I can find for my depressing mood might be due to the lost of self-confidence.I've been observing myself for the past few days, realise that my level of self-confident is hitting into the danger zone..Have always been worrying that my help created more problem/trouble for colleague.. hiAZs..
I'm currently under an Interactive Producer. Been kind of his assistance for Web stuff.. He was a multi-tasker, acting as project manager, developer, consultant & mani more..So for nw, there are only 2 of us in the team doing development..& since he has so many roles to play. He is always busy..Most of the colleague having doubts with online stuffs will go to him..Can see that many times he is stress & tired. So i tried to ask if there is anything i can help. But maybe becos he is busy..i'm left alone to do my stuf most of the time, Not tat he will mind me disturbing him, but i just try not to..Maybe the more I hope to lighten his load, the more stress I feel..
Got to know from another colleague that he is trying to train me..That stress me even more..haha. I just somehow feel that he might be wasting his time..
argh!! just dun understand y I have so little confident with myself..I'm not that bad afterall right? he has given me a few lesson on flash scripting and I've been able to do some simple maintenance on my own so why shld i be feeling so useless? hiazs..
sometimes really wonder y certain pple can be so full of confident esp when in the eyes of others they are juz an empty nutshell..but they can just feel so proud of themselves.. y m i so low in self confident in all areas?? I'm even starting to doubt on my character.. The interesting/humorous character I thought I have, suddenly faded...............
Maybe my jokes has always been cold.. my topic has always been boring.. Mayb...............
