It has never been easy to forget incidents.....
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 / 3:02 PM
how shld i describe my life lately?
hmmmm..a life full of decisions..life full of different feelings and emotions at different part of the day..brain has not stop working the moment i woke up.. as usu, endless qns of why? swirl in my mind..there are no ans to it..the angel & devil are debating like nobody business in my mind. its such a mental torture..I stop myself frm doing things my heart tell me to cos it brings hurt to others..but at times my logic mind set me thinking..was i right not showing hw my heart feel? will pple understand the inner feeling for my action? or wil dey take me for granted that i'm just so tamed?
i was asked to forget.. yes, forgeting abt the whole incident could be the best. but fact is its not sth that can be fogetten easily..There are things one will never forget in their entire life..am i being negative? I don't know.. I guess i feel very insecure..I can predict that soon they might ask me to do things which i don't wish to.. I hope they understand that this time round i will want to do things in my way. not being force anymore..hope dey can understand the impact on me this time round is serious..I dun wish to hurt anyone.. i know dey r nice to me now.. i'l b sad & guilty if i still cant forget the incident & worst if i cant do wat dey hope..argH!!!.. its just so depressing thinking of it every now & then..mayb i think too much..but tat could be because i know them too well to expect what's coming next....
Kelly told me this.. No one can help me except me myself. An advice i often said to pple.. suddenly when things happen, i forgotten abt it totally..it sets me tinking abt her sentence the whole of last night. yes, its my part to bring myself up again. I've not suceed any yet..
Still trying..........